A lot has happened in the last week and a half since I blogged last. (maybe it was longer?…it feels longer…) I went to Chicago to visit with my family and see my Gramma. I missed the funeral for my grampa because of how the flight scheduling went, but I felt like I was able to say goodbye in my own special way and give and receive love to and from so many of my family members. I really do have a cool family. So many aunts, uncles, cousins, cousins’ children, and I even got to meet my newest niece for the first time. Isn’t she a doll?
The week was bitter sweet for me because of some other stuff going on in my life, but I will share that story later.
There has been a lot of snow (and bitter bitter cold) in Denver as of late. In some ways I like it because Lindsey’s loves it, and it’s nice to have a real winter again. In other ways, I’m realizing that though I spent the first half of my life in the north, winter takes getting used to again! I like that part as well though really, and I know I’m going to appreciate spring and summer more than I have in a really long time when it comes to Denver in a few months. :) This morning after church I was walking to have lunch with several of my friends (we went to this place called Cork and Coffee, and it is gonna be a new favorite spot for sure!!), and the wind was blowing big clumps of snow off the buildings and trees lining the street. When I got home the wind was even more intense and the amount of snow blowing off the trees and buildings made it look like it had started snowing again. It’s kind of a funny experience to be walking along and suddenly get hit with a large bit of cold snow. It’s a completely unpredictable experience as well. You can’t walk with your head up, hoping you’ll see the clump before it hits you or you’re likely to slip pretty severely in all the snow and slush that’s under your feet. If you’re having a good time walking along, it’s pretty easy to forget that you could at any moment receive a face full of snow or a dumping on your head or down the back of your coat, but it seems like all you can do is keep your eyes on the ground in front of you and hope it won’t be too shocking when the snow hits you from above as well.
Am I over thinking this? Yes, probably, but my life has felt a lot like this “snow falling” phenomena lately. I want to be who I am. I want to pay attention to what’s in front of me. I want to get lost in enjoying the time I’m having without constantly keeping my mind and eyes on the sky wondering when I’ll get hit. It’s hard though because I feel like their have been many things coming at me from all directions, and I don’t really know where to focus! Am I defined by the treacherous slippery places on the sidewalk in front of me? The falling snow? Or the good time I’m having on the journey? Which things deserve the bulk of my attention? Which people? Which problems? Who’s opinions? Who’s frustrations, who’s joys?
I know that Jesus is everything. That my life is in Him. But what do I do with the walking down the snowy sidewalk part of life? It seems a whole lot more complicated in reality than it does in principle sometimes.
Anyhow, I wish I could say that I’ve arrived this afternoon at a conclusion or a great visual concept of how to navigate it all, but I can’t.
In other news, I am very very tired from all the “snowy sidewalk” trekking I’ve been dealing with lately. I’ve been trying to catch up on some sleep to help my body and brain deal, but I think I could sleep all day for a week straight, and I’m not sure it’d be enough rest. I also talked with a friend about kayaking and camping and such today, and it made me super ready for the days when we can pull out the tent and the kayak again. I’ve also been throwing around a lot of ideas I want to get out on canvas with a paintbrush as of late. AND my mind is in an explosion state of sorts over some of the writing (and book ideas) I’ve been working on. It’s funny how adversity is a really great motivator for art so many times!!
Now that I’ve rambled on quite a bit…. :D I get to go back out into the snow to get Lindsey from work. The superbowl is tonight and we’ll probably be watching most of it while I take care of my little charges at work. Ah well, at least they have huge televisions. ;-P