It’s so warm today. But the snow isn’t melting as fast as I thought it might. Icy takes a long time to warm, frozen numbness takes a long time to melt away. Sometimes it feels so much easier to “numb” than it does to just feel something. Feeling can be so scary. I was staring at a frozen river on Saturday trying to think of what it made me feel inside and what it made me think of, but, even though I love the winter season, I couldn’t associate that frozen ice with anything emotionally pleasant or healing. All that came to mind was hardness, and coldness, and unmoving, unchanging space that couldn’t grow or receive. Even the rocks Lindsey pummeled at that ice barely scratched the thick cold surface.
I don’t want to be that way. Yeah, it might keep us from feeling vulnerable or scared or stupid or hurt or angry. But it also keeps us from feeling hope, growth, love, joy, peace, compassion, so many good, wonderful things.
It’s better to learn how to walk through the bad and the difficult, I think, than it is to miss out on the precious moments and beautiful feelings that come with life.
Which makes me ponder….can you even imagine how beautiful God’s heart is? If such beauty and good can exist in the world, how much more beautiful and good must He be?
:) The thought of pressing into Him makes me smile.
In other news, I’ve begun reading this before bed…