dark day

You know what? Making sense of people’s actions and stupidity and mental processes is a waste of time. The more I think about stupid things that people I know have done or are doing, the more baffled and pissed off I become. Yet, it gets me nowhere.

The more that I think about stupid things that people I don’t know have done or are doing (like that idiotic insane person who did so much damage in Aurora last night), the more overwhelmed and afraid I feel. But, that also gets me nowhere (and, frankly, it threatens the idea that I will get anywhere).

It’s a good thing that figuring out why people hurt other people or make stupid decisions is not in my job description. In fact, God said:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths” (Proverbs 3: 5,6).

Today is a major exercise in this concept for me. I want to think judgmental thoughts about people I know who are doing stupid things; I feel prone to fearing so many things, especially going to movie theaters; I feel tempted to feel annoyed with everything and everyone.

But when I read the verses above, I feel a little bit of the tension melt out of my chest. My desire to fall into unhelpful and even hurtful thoughts lessens. When I keep reading it over and over, I realize just how important it is to let go. I can’t figure the world out; I can’t figure people’s decisions out; I can’t lean on my own understanding. It gets me nowhere.

Trust is what I truly want. Surrender. Hope in His love. When I put my eyes on Him, my dark day gets a little brighter.

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